Clothes make the man. I've been saying that for weeks. Hopefully it catches on. For the dullards out there, it means clothes can turn an ordinary man into a suave businessman or a transgender depending on how you dress. It's almost like by wearing certain clothes you are trying to convey a subtle message to the general public about how you'd like them to perceive you. I know we live in this very non-judgemental society where it's all love and we're licking puppy dogs all day but rarely, like once a decade, you may see someone wearing something and go, "hmmm, that looks strikingly familiar," and then your brain says "OMGTREND!!!!" and thus we have this blog entry.
This is not a "best of" fashion list, this is just a quick recap of some of the most popular (good/bad/douchey) trends of decade. Since I dress like a homeless communist, I'm bringing in my friend Danielle who writes for The Culturistas, a NYC/LA-centric fashion/lifestyle blog for women, to help me out.
-Graphic Tees
"I LOVE RED BULL!" "ME TOO!"
Jonathan: This is not a joke in any way, for the first year I heard the term "graphic tee" I thought it referred to the Ed Hardy/Affliction type shirts (I'm correct so far...) because they had skulls and graphic depictions of violence on them (aaaaaand the wheels come off right about there). I'm not against graphic tees as vehemently as I'm against racism but it's pretty darn close. For me, trends die out when the "wrong" (poor) people start wearing it but I never liked them, not just cause I can't wear them (I don't like MMA and I'm morbidly obese) but anytime someone wears a skull, dragon, or rhinestones in any capacity, I just think to myself, "That's a grown ass person wearing skulls, dragons, and rhinestones on a $100 shirt."
Danielle: I'd say this is the second worst trend of the decade. I actually don't mind subtly designed graphic t's (hey its like wearing art on your clothing). But I think a man named Christian Audigier ( aka Ed Hardy) really fucked this one up. Tattoo-like skulls and leopards mixed with rhinestones and nastiness does NOT belong on a guy. Seriously, if you are looking for a girlfriend, or even a casual hookup, leave this trend at the Ed Hardy store. I'm guessing the bad economy does not mix with flamboyant $100 t-shirts either.
-Skinny Jeans
Jeans look so lonely without people in them
Danielle: Although the name is misleading, skinny jeans wont make you look skinny. I know many have tried....and it's usually not pretty. But you have to give the trend credit for sticking around for quite a few seasons. Tip: try slim leg jeans instead of the stovepipe variety if you really like the trend. Hmm wait I think I forgot who the target audience is for this blog...
Jonathan: White dudes from Maryland KNOW what stovepipe variety jeans are, it's in their blood. As long as women wear jeans that steer away from baggy jeans or jorts, I think it's a positive. Plus, many fashion trends this decade have tried to shame people into losing weight so they can fit properly in clothes and that's another positive.
-Sneakers
This shoe is worth more than my car
Jonathan: A great rule in American fashion, if we find something comfortable to wear, in a few years, it will somehow be OK to wear it all the time (sneakers, sweatshirts, sandals, snuggies) but in the 2000s, sneakers actually became a "culture" with it's own lingo and people (mostly Asians) camping out to get new releases. I like sneakers, I have about 15 pair and try to collect sneakers I couldn't afford in middle school because I like to buy memories (CITIZEN KANESTERDAM) but I really appreciate that it's completely normal to wear sneakers on almost any occasion, even classy bars (like Applebee's) let's people wear sneakers in their establishment. Call me McDonald's cause I'm Lovin' It (c).
Danielle: From checkerboard Vans to limited edition kicks, the sneakers trend appeals to a wide range of people...or maybe just hipsters and gangstas. I for one don't have a problem with them and they are still cool in 2009, so maybe they should win the award for a trend that has lasted a decade. And the trophy goes to...
-Leggings
I prefer the left side of this pic
Danielle: Though leggings might stir up memories of Jane Fonda work out videos and bad 80's movies they have become quite modern in the 2000's. Now you can wear leggings in faux leather, faux denim, and faux tattoos...basically anything of the faux variety. Many people have even decided that leggings are pants, and on the wrong person..ick factor. While I dont advocate tights as pants they can be stylish AND comfortable (this rarely happens). So not the worst trend of the decade...
Jonathan: Legs are a top 5 body part on a woman (Brains being # 1. GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING!!!!) so I don't understand the desire to cover them up in a way that hides their shape. Then again, I wear long sleeves in the summer to cover up my I <3 Danny Miller tattoo so I can sorta understand.
-Hoodies
White people. Hip since 196never.
Jonathan: I'm not quite sure the story arc of the hoody, I know I've seen them in movies in the 70s, mostly on kids or runners, I didn't see them much in the 80s (I guess the weather was warmer?) and then rappers (YES!) started wearing them in the 90s and then they seeped into suburban culture and college campuses and now everyone owns at least three. Whoever created the first one is a genius, it's like a bunch of kittens hugging you at all angles while hiding any possible extra fat you've put on. I'm not a fan of how there's "screen printed" ones now or how teenagers (GET OFF MY TRENDS!) became associated with them, give me a simple grey zip-up with an over-sized hood and I'm good to go.
Danielle: Probably the most generic trend of the 2000's and therefore I have nothing much to say about them. I guess when I see people in oversize hoodies I'm more worried that they have stashed a gun in them rather than extra pounds of fat...but that's just me.
-Oversized Sunglasses
smile. Smile. SMILE!
Danielle: While the over sized sunglasses might have been popular among glamorous Hollywood types since the 1950's it was reborn in the 2000's. And even though I might not take homework tips from Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie-- I'll gladly take style tips from them, as leaders of this trend. And you can look glamorous too - even with a really bad hangover!
Jonathan: Not a fan. Ugly girls finally figured out a way to hide their ugly faces and this leads to lots of wasted hours ogling women at the pool until they remove their shades and I sigh noticeably loud. Not that I'm captain awesome or anything, I just like to passive-aggressively judge people.
-Trucker Hats
Probably from Virginia
Jonathan: Dumbest male trend of the 2000s is either this or popped collars. I'm going with this because you can turn down a popped collar, you can't take off a hat (...). People blame this on Ashton Kutcher but that's like blaming Franz Ferdinand for the Civil War, there were a lot of other factors that lead to this conflict including taxation without representation. The hats themselves looked dumb and eventually evolved from Von Dutch crap to Ed Hardy crap so that's a big strike against this trend. The final nail in the coffin is that girls started to wear hats and girls in no way should wear baseball hats UNLESS it's a BASEBALL hat. If they wanna wear a fedora to cover up some acne, go ahead girl, DO YOU, but non-baseball baseball hats on chicks look cheap.
Danielle: Can we make an exception for basketball team hats too? (GO CLIPPS) But agreed, trucker hats are probably the worst trend of the decade. Luckily they have pretty much gone away...and if you are still wearing one well you are probably a big doucebag...so it sucks to be you.
-Mini Dress
If you stare at knees long enough, you begin to realize how weird they look
Danielle: To the delight of men everywhere, the mini dress took off in the late 2000's. You might think this trend never really went away- popular in the 70's disco era, 80's glamazon era and even the 90's with singers like Mariah Carey and the Spice Girls. And its back again- seen among tons of celebrities on the red carpet and probably a lot of normal people as well. But who really cares about them...
Jonathan: Probably the best trend of the 2000s and I'm not just saying that because it shows a lot of skin. There's a certain degree of classiness that I find missing in most people's (especially mine) attire when I go out but this little number says, "I'm confidant in my sexiness, I'm keeping it classy, and I'll probably give you **** if you have some good blow." Cocaine = classy in my book (blog).
-Track Suits
There needs to be more animal printed themes on clothing
Jonathan: I'm crediting this trend to Europeans. I know Italians in NY/NJ and Run DMC have been wearing track suits since the 80s but it took awhile until some skinny Berliner said, "Maybe we should just wear the cool jacket part but the rest of our outfit shall be normal and we'll look like regular human beings and not like we just came in from a race. And hey, Jews are pretty cool, aren't they?" I enjoy the trend greatly, it gives men something else to wear besides a striped button down shirt or sweater and is perfect for cool Fall and Spring nights. It also has a zipper. I'm a fan of zippers. Not a fan of "Juicy" written across someone's ass though.
Danielle: Velour Track suits bring to mind "Bennifer" and a slew of Los Angeles housewives. I know they are comfortable and easy but unfortunately those are not the most attractive qualities in an outfit. And if you decide you will still wear them PLEASE dont wear the matching suit together...it's not cool.
-Uggs
OMG! WHERE'S HER HEAD!?!?!
Danielle: I'm sticking this trend where it belongs- only advisable in climates where the weather gets below 40 degrees. If you live in LA and think its cool to wear Uggs and miniskirts (aka the eski-ho look), please think again. Why on earth would anyone be in the position to wear summer clothing but shoes covered in shearling and fur?? But they are really comfortable and I recommend them as after ski/snowboarding boots or comfy options on cold winter days that involve long walks!
Jonathan: There never has been a more appropriately titled piece of cloths than "Uggs". Most trends I can shrug off and say, "it works for them" but never once did I see those boots and think, "works for them," mostly it was "her feet must smell." Still, the worst footwear of the decade has to be Crocs, even though they have apparently died out, that was the darkest day for America's feet. Never forget.
If you liked this list, Hamsterdam recommends the following lists...
-Top 10 Internet Memes of the 2000s With An Explanation Of What A "Meme" Means
-Top 10 Albums of the 2000s for Urban White Males with Incredible Taste
-Top 10 Films of the 2000s for Off-Topic Sports Message Board Posters (Non-Nerds Edition)
-Top 10 Television Shows of the 2000s for Crystal Meth Addicts
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